Realism wins here. The first time is rarely a mutual climax. It might be five minutes of fumbling, a moment of pain, a laugh, an awkward elbow, and then a decision to try a different angle. The romance comes from the response . Does he say, "It's okay, let's just hold each other"? Does she say, "We don't have to finish"? That safety is the real love story.
For those writing it: Give your characters the grace of awkwardness. Give them the dignity of poor communication followed by repair. Do not skip the conversation about lube or boundaries. In those mundane details, you will find the most profound romance of all. Realism wins here
Not a grand confession on a hilltop at sunset. Instead, have the character disclose their virginity during a mundane, safe moment: "Hey, I'm really enjoying this. I should tell you—I haven't done that before. It's not a religious thing; it's just... this is the first time I've wanted to." This reframes virginity as choosing this person , not as lacking experience . The romance comes from the response